Love Lockdown
by SuspianFeels
Summary: "Where I wanna go, I don't need you. I've been down this road, too many times before. I'm not lovin' you, the way I wanted to." Some love triangles can turn deadly. [DARYL/OC & NEGAN/OC]
1. Full Summary

**Name:** Love Lockdown

 **Summary:** ❝Where I wanna go, I don't need you. I've been down this road, too many times before. I'm not lovin' you, the way I wanted to.❞

Before the apocalypse, Valerie Pitcher was nothing – a complete nobody. But after it, she became something else, something far darker than she ever thought possible. After the death of her whole family, Valerie left her home to find someone else who'd survived. That was when she crossed paths with Negan who took a liking to her and allowed her to be with the Saviors.

In order for Valerie to stay, she had to act as if she was as crazy as Negan was – becoming one of his many wives in the process despite the entire act was a lie and she'd only done it to save herself from a slow and painful death with Negan's bat.

Everything was fine until that fateful night when Negan slaughtered Glenn and Abraham and Valerie had to pretend to enjoy it but inside she wanted to make him stop, but she couldn't. And when Daryl was taken captive, she vowed to herself that she would make sure Negan didn't kill him – but through this, Valerie slowly grows feelings for him and it becomes harder and harder for her to pretend they're not there.

 **Pairing:** Daryl/OC with some Negan/OC.

 **Rating:** M – for strong language, strong gore, strong violence, character death, abuse and moderate sex references.

 **Genre:** Romance/Horror

 **Disclaimer:** I own nothing used, except for the idea for this story and my OCs. This story is purely for entertainment purposes only.

 **Story song:** Love Lockdown by Kanye West.

 **Author's note:** I'm trash for Negan, not gonna lie BUT I've wanted to write a Daryl fanfic for like a year and only now have I thought of a good idea to go with it. This will start off with mostly Negan/Val stuff but it will gradually get to Daryl/Val soon, I promise. Hope you all enjoy!

Emma Greenwell _**as**_ Valerie Pitcher.

But without babbling on too long, on with the story.

* * *

Love Lockdown; Kanye West

Mad Hatter; Melanie Martinez

Strange Love; Halsey

Power; Kat Graham

You Don't Own Me; Lesley Gore

The Devil Within; Digital Daggers

Hurricane; Halsey

Born to Die; Lana Del Rey

First; Cold War Kids

Gangsta; Kehlani

Empire; Alpines

Be Together; Major Lazer feat. Wild Belle

Jerome; Zella Day

Bang; Armchair Cynics

Art of War; We the Kings

A Handsome Stranger Called Death; Foe

Pretty When You Cry; Lana Del Rey

Maiden; MØ

* * *

"One wrong move,

a harmless comment pulled his trigger.

Calm waters became polluted, summoning a storm.

He tried to resist, but it was uncontrollable.

His ego felt insecure, defeated by negative thoughts.

Rage slowly began to set, incinerating his tongue.

With words ignited, he cremated her to ashes.

In shock, she simply turned to walk away,

attempting to escape the barrage of abuse.

Pride hurt,

monsters in his head induced his temperature

to insanity as he lashed out a demonic assault.

Blood dripped from his hands, she just laid there,

black and blue, crying her eyes out - he walked away.

Storm passed,

demons departed smiling, their mission accomplished.

His temperature dropped with regret slowly setting.

He looked in horror at the damage he had caused.

His tongue now tranquil uttering harmonious apologies,

tears rolled down his face in remorse as he repented.

Gift after gift, promises to change - to never do it again.

Calm waters returned and finally she forgave...

Until the next time... and the next...

Until it was too late.."

~ Rage by unknown.


	2. Chapter One

"Let's meet the man."

The door of the RV opened and instead of Negan stepping out, a small brunette blowing bubbles from the bubblegum she had inside her mouth came out instead. A grin was spread across her lips as she skipped away from the RV, turning around once to see if Negan was close behind her, exposing the back of her jacket to the group which proudly had "property of Negan" on the back of it, causing Rick to shudder at the thought of someone being proud to be his property. The brunette turned around, twirling her red and black baseball bat between her fingers before giggling. "You're so screwed!" She sneered at the group before skipping off to the side, waiting for Negan to come out.

When Negan finally stepped out, Valerie's smile only seemed to widen until it was almost unnaturally wide, as if she was a character out of some dark and twisted nightmare. She barely registered what Negan was saying, she was completely transfixed on what he was doing, she didn't even fully realize the threats he was making.

Valerie couldn't stop the Cheshire Cat like grin on her face as she watched Negan – _**her**_ Negan – threaten to kill Rick for killing his men. She almost lost grip on her baseball bat over how much she was quietly giggling. Simon nudged her shoulder in an attempt to stop her but that did nothing but earn him a hit on the side of the head with the handle of Valerie's bat.

"You are not right upstairs, lady." Simon hissed into her ear, his eyes narrowing slightly.

"So what if I'm crazy? Negan prefers the crazies," Valerie whispered back before giving Simon a sly wink.

A slight chill went up Valerie's spine, making her regret her choice of outfit – she'd decided on a pair of high waisted shorts, a crop top and a pair black platform boots, her only form of keeping herself warm was a black bomber jacket but other than that, she was pretty much on her own.

"I simply can't decide." Negan paused for a moment before his face lit up again. "I got an idea; come to daddy, princess." Negan's eyes met Valerie's, bringing her out of her trancelike state.

Valerie giggled, skipping over towards Negan, her arm draping over his shoulders. Negan leaned over to press a sloppy kiss to her cheek before moving his lips to her ear, his breath sending shivers down her spine. "I want you to pick who gets the chop."

A sly smile came across the brunette's lips as she took her own baseball bat and aimed it at several members of the group, her smile never leaving her face. "Eeny, meeny, miny, moe,

Daddy's gonna make me moan.

But I won't scream, don't let me go.

Eeny, meeny, miny, moe.

My mommy told me to pick the very best lover, and that is Y-O-U." Valerie's bat ended up on Abraham, and her heart skipped a beat inside her chest. Her whole façade dropped for a split second – enough time for her to mouth "I'm sorry" to Abraham – before her smile came back and she turned back to Negan. "Do your worst to the bastard," she whispered before she walked out of his way and mentally braced herself for what was about to come.

Valerie drowned out the sounds of what was going on, a skill she'd learned during the first week of being part of The Saviours. There were things that Valerie didn't want to hear or see and killing people with Lucille was one of them, but she had to keep up the act of being in love with Negan. Everything became a blur after that, and Valerie tried anything and everything to take her mind off the inhumane acts that were going on in front of her.

Valerie was considered one of the lucky ones; her family and friends were dead when the walkers really started to arrive, leaving her to defend herself against the monsters that wanted to kill her.

She remembered when Negan found her; she was hiding in a broken down barn, slowly dying of starvation and dehydration, she would've gotten food but she was too weak to even move. But Negan saved her life that day, although Valerie had no idea why he'd bothered to save her – she had asked him about it but he always silenced her by simply saying "couldn't leave a pretty face go to waste" and that would be the end of that conversation.

To some extent, she felt guilty for not stopping Negan when she had the power in which to do so. She should've stepped in front of him and told him no – or not even taking part of the game, maybe then those two members of Rick's group would still be alive. It made her feel sick, sick because she was part of The Saviours and just sat and watched two people die for no reason other than Negan's twisted mind needed it to happen.

Before she fully realized it, it was dawn and her feet were absolutely killing her due to standing in the same position for several hours. She couldn't wait until she got back home and changed out of her heels and put warm slippers on instead. She hoped the end of this torture would be soon before she fell asleep on the spot.

"We'll be back for our first offer in one week, until then ta-ta," Negan threw the axe down before walking up to Valerie. "Let's go home, princess, I got a little surprise for you."

Valerie giggled, her arms wrapped rightly around Negan as she pressed a kiss to his lips. "Yay, I love presents!" She squealed before turning towards the group one last time. "Bye-bye, losers!" She waved in their direction before Negan picked her up bridal style and carried her inside the truck. The pair shared an intense and lust filled kiss, Valerie giggling against Negan's lips as the door was promptly closed behind them.

Sex with Negan happened on an almost daily basis and Valerie had honestly lost count of how many times it had happened since he found her almost a year earlier. In truth, Valerie would rather just sleep with him in bed beside her rather than sleep _**with**_ him – there was a huge difference there. But no matter what dark things Negan did, she couldn't help but feel safe while he was with her and she hated that. She didn't want a man to protect her, she wanted to do that herself but in a world where Negan reigns as king and Valerie as his queen, being able to defend yourself wasn't necessary but it didn't stop Valerie from trying.

* * *

 _ **Note**_

The number of times I've wanted Val to call Negan "Puddin" is insane, but I've resisted the temptation. For the record – Val hates Negan but pretends to be hopelessly in love with him and as crazy as he is because she's scared that if she leaves, he'd end up killing her. Although, Negan does kind of adore her for her craziness so there's that plot twist.

I know everyone will hate Valerie after this but I love her anyways.

This whole chapter is just a complete mess, tbh. But whatever and it's way too short for my liking but hey, I tried.

Until next time;

Lorna.


	3. Chapter Two

Sunlight streamed through Valerie's blinds, causing the brunette to groan and turn away from the light in an attempt to have more sleep. After the events of the night before, Valerie was trying to catch up on sleep and had been in bed for almost a day straight to catch up on some much needed sleep.

Just as she was about to drift back into sleep, the door opened and Valerie could tell it was Negan. After living with him for so long, Valerie could easily tell who came in through the door without even looking.

"Rise and shine, princess."

Valerie groaned, pulling the covers over her head. "Fuck off, Negan. Let me sleep."

"Oh, still tired after last night, huh?"

"No, I'm just tired since it's early."

"So you _**didn't**_ like last night, then. That's funny, because from what I gathered, you were enjoying it."

Valerie's eyes narrowed as she moved the covers off her head and sat up in bed, glaring at Negan. "Negan, I swear to fucking god if you don't stop talking, I will throw you out the window."

Negan grabbed Valerie's arms roughly, surely enough to leave bruises and forced her to look at him. "Don't you dare speak to me like that you bitch, you know the rules. You disrespect me; you have to pay the consequences."

Fear was something Valerie rarely felt, but she was almost always afraid when Negan was angry. He was capable of almost anything when he was angry and Valerie knew this – she knew it almost better than anyone else did but almost anything could set Negan off and almost everything she did would set him off.

Swallowing her fear, Valerie slapped Negan hard. "Go fuck yourself, Negan." She hissed, mentally preparing herself for Negan's reaction.

Negan almost growled at her as he pushed her back into the wall, making sure the back of her head hit the wall hard. He watched Valerie slowly sink down to the floor, bringing her knees into her chest. Just to make sure she got the message, he walked over to her and hit her across the face, one side of her face turning red from the impact. But before Valerie had a chance to speak, Negan kicked her once before walking out of the room and slammed the door behind him.

Sitting on the floor, Valerie choked back a sob before slowly picking herself off the floor and walked towards her dressing table and sat down in front of it, looking at the bruises that covered her body. Picking up her make-up brushes, she tried to hide her bruises and cuts as best as she could with what little make-up she had. She hid her bruises to somehow fool both herself and everyone else that she was happy – something she would probably never be with Negan in her life. There were many times in her life when Valerie wanted to kill Negan and run away, never to be seen again but she couldn't ever bring herself to do it because she knew that if she killed Negan, his disciples would come after her and kill her in retaliation.

After her make-up, Valerie took a deep breath before dressing and leaving her room, mentally preparing herself for whatever came her way. As usual, Valerie was walking around the compound practically half naked but that was to make every guy she came into contact with jealous that she belonged to Negan and would never leave his side. She was in her signature heeled boots, short shorts and a crop top, her baseball bat draped across her shoulders – it was the only thing Negan allowed her to wear, and she hated him for that.

Walking towards the kitchen, Valerie somehow managed to sneak inside without being seen and grabbed several energy bars and a small water bottle filled with water before shoving them into the pockets in her jacket before quietly walked back out – well, as quiet as someone could be in four inch heels.

After visiting the kitchen, Valerie made her way towards the cells, completely ignoring Dwight's words of warning, instead threatening to call her husband over and tell him that Dwight tried to rape her – Valerie liked to play dirty, a skill she'd acquired from Negan's other wives.

Sitting down in front of the cell that contained Daryl, Valerie placed her baseball bat beside her and gently tapped on the bars. "I'm not here to hurt you, I just wanna talk."

Daryl slowly came out from the darkness of the cell, his eyes narrowing as he looked at Valerie. He had an urge to strangle her through the bars – payback for being the reason why Abraham died, perhaps. But he resisted, instead choosing the glare at her through the bars, saying nothing.

Valerie sighed a little to herself, her hands lacing together. "Look, I'm sorry for what happened to your friends."

"You're not sorry; you were laughing along with him!"

"No I wasn't!"

"You were, I saw and heard you. You're just as bad as he is."

Daryl's words hit her like a thousand knives stabbing her in the chest; she knew she was the main reason why his friends died and she did nothing but encourage Negan to keep going – it was almost as bad as killing them herself.

Swallowing all sense of sadness, Valerie's eyes hardened. "I don't care what you say, I am _**nothing**_ like Negan. Hate the bastard with every cell in my body, if I could kill him, I would've done it already."

The pair fell silent for a while, giving the opportunity for Valerie to remove her jacket, grabbing the water bottle and several energy bars from hidden pockets inside it, passing them over to Daryl through the bars. "Thought you might want real food instead of the bullshit Dwight's been giving you."

Daryl frowned a little as he took the bars and the bottle from Valerie's hands, opening a packet and slowly eating it, thankful for some real food. "Why are you doing this?"

Valerie shrugged her shoulders, picking at some of the rust on the cell door. "Because I made a vow to myself that I would protect you from everyone here until you can go home; it's the right thing to do. I may be the asshole's wife, but that doesn't mean I'll agree with him and act the same way as he does. I'm Valerie, by the way."

With a smile on her face, Valerie held her hand out to Daryl to which he shook it, a small smile on his face, too. "I'm Daryl, somewhat glad to meet you Valerie."

The pair remained sat in front of each other and talking for several hours, both feeling happy with each other's company until Valerie announced she needed to leave since she was sure Negan would be looking for her but she vowed to return as soon as she could with more food and water for Daryl.

* * *

 _ **Note**_

Useless fact of the day; this chapter was originally supposed to be the first chapter but halfway through writing this, I decided to completely abandon this chapter and start a new one. Teddy Bear by Melanie Martinez and Born to Die by Lana Del Rey were on repeat while I wrote this, to be honest.

Thank you all so much for your support with this story, it really means a lot to me so thank you!

I've decided to not really follow the show and kind of take some inspiration from the show but go off on my own course – everything will (maybe) have a happy ending.

Until next time;

Lorna.


	4. Chapter Three

Valerie's secret meetings with Daryl went on every day, with seemingly nobody noticing some food and water going missing and the fact that Valerie would just disappear for several hours at a time. But then again, having Valerie in booty shorts and crop tops while being surrounded by men, she was sure to get out of anything at a small price.

The van Valerie was sitting in halted at Alexandria's gates, causing the brunette to grab her baseball bat before jumping out of the van, being careful not to fall over in her 5 inch heels. Resting her baseball bat on her shoulders, Valerie slowly made her way towards Negan, giving a small nod to Daryl on her way.

Blowing a bubble, Valerie rested her head against Negan's arm, a smile on her lips as she looked at Rick in front of them. "Valerie Pitcher, nice to meet ya. Love your cologne. What is that, the stench of death?" Valerie giggled, holding out a hand towards Rick before retracting it to snake her arm around Negan's shoulders.

Away from Negan, Valerie and Rick; Carl and Rosita watched the confrontation, keeping a hand on their weapons if everything went south. "Who's that woman with Negan?" Carl asked, quietly.

"Valerie Pitcher; Negan's favourite wife, completely insane and insanely in love with the bastard; she's crazier than him, and more fearless. Together, they're a deadly concoction of insanity, baseball bats and laughing in the face of the dead. They're the king and queen of The Sanctuary; and god help anyone who disrespected the queen," Rosita answered, not looking in Carl's direction, keeping her eyes fixed on Negan and Valerie.

"Doll-face, how about you go with our dear friend Rick to take our share of the supplies?" Negan smiled towards his wife, his grip tightening slightly as he brought her into a warm embrace.

"Of course, Puddin'," Valerie smiled sweetly towards Negan, pressing a gentle kiss to his cheek before turning towards Rick, her smile and sweet demeanour dropping within seconds. "Show me the way, loser."

The pair walked off together, not speaking to each other until they were safely out of sight of Negan.

"He's okay, y'know." Valerie muttered to Rick, keeping a firm hand on her baseball bat.

Valerie's voice made Rick jump a little, causing him to turn towards the brunette. "Who?"

"Daryl – he's okay, I'm making sure he's eating and drinking properly. I'm waiting for the right moment where I can bring him back to you."

"Why are you doing this? You're married to Negan and you seem pretty happy killing everyone together."

"Just because he's my husband, doesn't mean I actually like him. I pretend to, because if I don't, my head would be on a spike. And besides, I owe him. As much as he's an asshole and I hate him, he still saved my life, and I'm in debt to him for that."

"You're lying to him?"

"Wouldn't you if it saved your ass?"

The pair fell silent as they arrived at Rick's share of supplies, both of them completely ignoring each other as Valerie watched the supplies being transferred from Alexandria's supplies and into The Sanctuary's. Once she got bored, Valerie walked back towards Negan, quickly hearing someone mutter "slut" under his breath, causing Valerie to stop and remove her gun hidden in her jacket, pulling the trigger against the man's head. Silence fell across Alexandria, everyone looking towards Valerie who was putting her gun back into her jacket. "What? He called me a slut, and I don't appreciate that kind of language said to a lady."

* * *

 _ **Note**_

Whoopsies, my hand slipped. I finally got Valerie to call Negan "Puddin", no idea if I'll keep doing it but whatever. Quick lil chapter for you guys so we can get back to the Daryl/Valerie moments that will be in the next one.

Until next time;

Lorna.


	5. Chapter Four

Back in The Sanctuary, Valerie was with Daryl; talking about anything and everything while Daryl ate and drank the supplies Valerie had brought with her. The conversation soon came back to the deaths of Abraham and Glenn, the topic being painful for both of them. Guilt was the main emotion between both of them; both wishing they did something to help Abraham and Glenn but there was nothing they could do now, they were dead and gone and the only things that remain were the memories.

"This is what happens when you piss Negan off; he doesn't kill you, he kills everyone you love and that's sort of the same thing." Valerie rested her head against the cell door, staring into the nothingness that surrounded her.

"Is that what happened to you?" Daryl asked, looking up at her from his last energy bar before taking a bite and chewing on it slowly.

Valerie shook her head, slowly bringing her head back towards Daryl. "No, everyone I love is already dead."

Daryl swallowed his mouthful, rolling down the wrapper to take another bite before speaking up again. "What happened to you? How did you get here?"

Valerie sighed heavily, looking into the distance for a moment before taking a deep inhale of breath to begin her story. "Before the outbreak, I was attending college. I was a physics major; I was a complete nerd over science back then. Anyway, I hid in this huge barn when everything went to shit and everything was okay until food and water began to run low but I couldn't leave the barn since there was this huge horde stuck in the town and I needed to wait until they left. I waited days, maybe a week or so, before they left but by the time they left, I was already weak. I knew that I wouldn't last long – I was too far gone with starvation by that point, there was nothing I could've done.

Negan found me almost two weeks later after that, and he saved my life that day. As much as I hate to admit it, I owe my life to him. I'd be dead if he hadn't come along. Although, sometimes I wish I had died before he had found me; at least then I wouldn't have to deal with the guilt of killing people and having to pretend to enjoy it.

I remember the day it happened – the day the dead rose up from the dirt beneath our feet and began to devour the living, when the world went to shit. I was in my dorm room, studying for a test when my roommate – Tessa – came in and told me there was a protest or a riot or something going on and I couldn't just not go to see it – I mean; last time there was a protest, the police were called and we just threw coloured dust at them, it was a pretty funny story to tell.

Anyway, Tessa and I were halfway down the stairs towards the main area of the campus when we heard gunshots and screaming. We just abandoned the stairs and went back to our room as fast as we could and locked the door behind us since that's what we were told to do when the campus was under lockdown. We locked the door and waited. Just waited for something to happen but nothing did; all we heard were more gunshots, more screaming and people running up and down the hallway outside. Some screamed for help, others for mercy but most people were silent. We heard a loud bang on the door and decided to hide in our closet until the coast was clear; just in case someone did manage to come in, they wouldn't find us straight away.

We ended up waiting in there for almost an hour, that was when the screaming and the gunshots stopped and everything was silent. We walked out of our room and everyone was dead. There was blood everywhere, bullet holes in the walls and the dorm doors that were open held a destroyed room and a dead body inside.

I had my back turned for one second and Tessa was gone, no screaming, no nothing. I found her almost an hour later – half her face had been devoured, and she was missing her left arm. I didn't bother checking if she was still alive, a part of me already knew that she was either dead or a walker – I had to get out of there so I did, and never looked back.

I had no friends, no family, nowhere to call home. I was completely alone," Valerie's voice shook a little as she tried to stop herself from having a crying fit, wiping away at her tears with the back of her hand but they continued to fall.

Daryl looked at Valerie through the bars, reaching his hand out towards her and gently cupped her face in his hand, brushing away her tears with his thumb. Valerie smiled faintly as she leaned into Daryl's touch, the pair not saying anything to each other but having a mental conversation between each other; it was saying "I'm here for you, you'll be okay, I promise".

Valerie quietly excused herself, telling Daryl that she would return again the next day and rushed out of the prison area and back towards the main courtyard. Valerie frowned as she saw Negan with Carl – one of the members of Alexandria. She noticed how uncomfortable Carl was with Negan's words and his body language.

Rolling her eyes, Valerie stepped between Negan and Carl, completely blocking Carl from Negan's view. "If you want to get to him, you're gonna have to go through me and we both know that I'm perfectly capable of killing you, so back the fuck off, Negan." With a smirk on her face, Valerie turned to everyone else who was watching. "If any of you cock-suckers touch him, I'll personally cut your hand off and feed it to the dead."

She placed her hands on Carl's shoulders and quickly led him away towards the kitchen to find candy or something the kid would want rather than be pestered with a man old enough to be his father. Arriving in the kitchen, Valerie instantly found the chocolate cupboard and handed a bar to Carl.

Carl was hesitant to take the chocolate but took it anyway, jumping onto the counter and began eating it. "Why are you doing this? Being nice to me, I mean." He asked through a mouthful of chocolate.

Valerie shrugged her shoulders, jumping onto the counter beside Carl, folding her legs over each other. "Because you're just a kid who needs to get home to his family; I'll make sure you get home, I promise."

Carl's chewing slowed down until he swallowed, his eyebrows fused together as he looked towards Valerie. "But I thought you were crazy and didn't care about anyone but Negan and killing everyone you don't like?"

Valerie laughed her signature laugh as she shook her head, the one that she used whenever Negan was around, causing Carl to shudder a little at the memory of that laugh being emitted when his friends died. "Everyone does! But little do they know; my mind is fully intact. I'm just the eye-candy, the distraction, it's a hard life but somebody's gotta do it. Think of me like Harley Quinn, except I'm actually Harleen Quinzel pretending to be Harley Quinn."

* * *

 _ **Note**_

Ooooh, we got some trouble in paradise. I wanted to show you guys a bit of Valerie's backstory and how she became part of The Saviours, since I've only now realized that I haven't really done it so here it is. My poor baby's been through way too much, I feel so evil.

Until next time;

Lorna.


	6. Chapter Five

Valerie had to fight to get Negan to bring Carl home, convincing him that the teenager would be useless to him. So he did, Valerie keeping a close eye on Negan as he exchanged a few words between himself and Rick, Carl standing beside his father. As usual, Negan was sneering in Rick's direction which caused Rick to become visibly angry.

Before it got too serious, Valerie walked in front of Negan, blocking his view of Rick and Carl. "Negan, stop, they get the message, please just stop."

Negan glared at Valerie for a split second before slapping her hard across the face, causing her to fall back from the force of the hit. "Remember what I told you, you bitch. Shut your little whore mouth and look pretty and your precious little redneck and his friends don't get hurt."

Valerie wanted to speak about how on Earth Negan knew about Daryl but he spoke up first. "Yeah, I know about him, it's pretty fuckin' obvious, princess."

Valerie took a breath to speak after she looked back up to Negan but he held the palm of his hand over Valerie's lips to stop her but she bit his hand as hard as she could, drawing blood in the process – Negan retracted his hand as Valerie spat out his blood. Negan growled, pushing Valerie to the floor, hard enough to graze her skin once they connected with the tarmac. Before anything else happened, Valerie crawled away and towards one of the vans and locked herself inside it, her hands over her ears with her eyes clenched shut.

Once arriving back at The Sanctuary, Valerie wasted no time in going to the kitchens to find food and water for Daryl – not bothering to be quiet about it as she stuffed the food down her shirt before moving on to the cells. Valerie gently tapped on Daryl's cell door, indicating she was there with food and water she'd stuffed down her shirt. Sitting in front of the cell door, Valerie removed the food and water from her shirt and handed them over to Daryl. "I'm working on getting you out of here, it'll take time but I think I can do it."

Daryl eagerly took the food and began eating before he brought his gaze up to Valerie, looking up at her bruised body. Swallowing a large mouthful of food, he brought Valerie's face towards him. "Who did this to you?"

Valerie shrugged her shoulders, gently shaking off Daryl's touch. "It's nothing, I just fell."

"Val, if he hit you-"

"He didn't, like I said, I fell."

In truth, Negan didn't just hit Valerie. He'd done worse things in the past than just hitting her; he'd starved her, held a gun to her head, raped her, beat her to the point where she'd almost died. He didn't just physically abuse her, he would mentally, verbally and sexually abuse her if she did something wrong. She didn't tell anyone, not even Daryl, about what happened to her when the doors were closed. But she bore the abuse so someone else wouldn't have to.

During her time with Daryl, Valerie didn't speak much but did promise that she would return again the next day with as much food as she could find. Slowly walking out of the cells, Valerie only felt one thing; numbness. She felt completely numb, and that scared her. It scared her because once you become emotionally numb to the world around you, you're a goner and there's no chance of regaining emotions, at least for a while.

Once returning to her room, Valerie sat down on the floor and stared at the wall for a while before she moved her gaze to the wedding ring on her finger, she wanted to take it off but she couldn't. She couldn't deny the fact that through everything; the real reason why she couldn't kill Negan wasn't because of retaliation; it was that she couldn't hurt him – how could she bring herself to hurt him if she couldn't even bring herself to leave him? The truth was that no matter how bad she felt or how badly he treated her, she was still very attracted to him. And somehow, that was the only reason she needed to stay.

On the outside, Valerie's relationship with Negan was picture perfect. But in reality, it was anything but perfect. Negan's harsh ways was enough to drive anyone to the brink of sanity, but Valerie had nothing left to lose – her friends, her family, everyone she loved were dead so she had no reason to leave Negan's grasp.

Besides, why would she leave a place with a comfortable place to sleep and unlimited access to food? Despite the abuse, Valerie couldn't deny the safety The Sanctuary provided her and she knew that if she did leave, she'd have nowhere to go and would easily die of starvation or be eaten alive by the walkers. Not a way Valerie would like to go.

* * *

 _ **Note**_

Gah, I'm sorry for all these short and shit chapters – I'm trying to finish this story since I know how I want it to end and I have too many stories on the go to keep stories at this level. I can predict this story will literally have less than 10 chapters at most, but whatever.

My plans to make every chapter at least 1K words has just gone out the window with this story, whoopsies.

Don't worry, Valerie will get her revenge on Negan at some point – I'm already planning it so stay tuned for that.

Until next time;

Lorna.


	7. Chapter Six

No matter how many times she thought about it, Valerie knew there was one way she would ever get Daryl home; she would have to do the whole thing herself. Negan would never let him leave, not until he was dead or if he was so badly broken he would be deemed as useless. Valerie was too involved by this point; she couldn't live with herself if she allowed Daryl to die. She felt like it was her duty to bring Daryl home, she needed to do it, even if she died trying. In order to make her plan work, she would have to pretend nothing was wrong and act normally, something that was far easier said than done.

The only thing that was different about Valerie was her clothes – her usual attire of booty shorts, crop tops and heeled boots were replaced with a pair of combat boots, jeans and a sweater. She would have an excuse if someone asked about it, she would just say that she was cold and would prefer to wear warm clothes rather than freeze in summer clothes.

She looked at herself in the mirror one last time to make sure she looked as normal as possible before picking up her baseball bat, checking that her hidden handgun was undetectable under her jacket before leaving the room. She didn't take anything, she wasn't attached to the room nor did she have anything of value to her inside it. To her, it was just a room and she just happened to sleep in it.

Her plan was simple; pretend nothing is wrong, get access into the speaker room to play any loud and long song she wished, kill any guards around Daryl's cell, shoot all cameras and bring Daryl out safely without being detected. Simple, but it seemed that only someone who was completely insane would be crazy enough to pull it off.

But then again, Valerie was completely insane – at least in Negan's and his men's minds. Her mannerisms annoyed almost everyone she came into contact with, causing most of the Saviors to call her "Barbie" to highlight how annoying she truly was. Her bubblegum chewing and slightly higher pitched voice was enough to drive anyone crazy in mere minutes, but that was completely intentional. She was rather proud of the annoying woman she became; it gave her a reason to annoy anyone and everyone around her.

Walking into the speaker room, Valerie leaned against the open door, giving the two men inside a wide smile. "Hello, boys, Negan wants to see you, he says it's something about eating food without logging it in the book? Whatever it's about, I'm sure you wouldn't want to make him wait, you remember what happened to the last person who made him wait – his eyes were gouged out then his torso was cooked up and handed out to everyone and I do have to admit, he did taste wonderful."

She watched the two men hastily walk out of the room, leaving Valerie alone in the room. Closing the door behind her, Valerie pulled out a vinyl record from the large box in the corner of the room, a smile playing on her lips as she set up the record player and the sound of Super Freak filled the room and the entire compound through the speaker system. She had seven minutes to get Daryl out of The Sanctuary without being noticed; plenty of time. Grabbing a set of keys from the desk, Valerie locked the door after she left the room, locking the door before walking towards the cells, hiding the key inside her bra.

Walking into the cells, Valerie noticed a single guard outside Daryl's cell and she knew he would have a key, hiding against the wall; Valerie threw a penny on the floor to catch the guard's attention and bring him closer to her which would make it easier for her to kill him.

The penny echoed through the quiet halls, causing the guard to quickly leave his post and investigate the noise. Once he was close enough, Valerie held a hand over the guard's mouth as she moved her lips towards his ear. "Shhh, go to sleep." She whispered before grabbing the guard's machete and slitting his throat with it. She kept her hand over his mouth until his body went limp in her arms. She took the guard's set of keys and held them in her left hand before grabbing her gun and shooting out all the cameras she saw.

Quickly unlocking Daryl's cell, Valerie frantically drags him out of his cell. "No time to explain, we have two minutes to get out of here and out of sight."

Daryl said nothing, deciding that Valerie would only tell him to shut up if he did try to speak. Valerie didn't stop dragging him until the pair were outside the gates, making sure nobody was around to see them, she handed him her baseball bat for protection. "Wait for me here, I'll be back for you soon, I promise." Valerie watched Daryl nod before pressing her lips to his for a brief moment before reluctantly releasing him and running back into the compound.

Back in the compound, Valerie sprinted towards one of the motorbikes kept in storage, pushing it out of the barn and into the sunlight. She had no idea how to ride one but she'd seen people use them before and she figured it wouldn't be so hard, right?

Just as she was on the bike, the main gates that were open slowly started to close. Throwing away her helmet, Valerie quickly put the bike into drive and rammed it forward towards the gates, her eyes closing as she noticed the gates inching their way closed.

Valerie's eyes opened when she was halfway down the road, causing her to stop and look for Daryl. Placing the kickstand out, she ran back to find him where she'd left him. "Sorry I kind of went past you, riding a motorbike is a lot scarier than everyone makes it out to be."

* * *

 _ **Note**_

Admittedly, I did have Barbie Girl on repeat while I wrote Valerie's scenes. I know that song so well, it's driving me insane.

VALERIE AND DARYL HAVE FINALLY KISSED, GET OUT THE CHAMPANGE, THIS SHIP IS SAILING.

Until next time;

Lorna.


	8. Chapter Seven

The pair had been on the road for hours, mostly due to Valerie's horrible driving skills and not being able to follow instructions over the noise of both the wind and the motorbike. It was almost sundown by the time they arrived, Valerie shutting off the bike as she slowly got off the bike, staring at the gates to Alexandria before her. Just as she was about to walk over to the gates, Valerie paused, taking a few steps backwards. "I can't do this, I can't go in there. They'll all want me dead because of what I did."

Daryl stopped, looking back towards Valerie, his head shaking. "Who we are and who we need to be to survive are two different things, I'm sure they will understand what you did."

Valerie nodded slowly before she walked through the gates, keeping behind Daryl as she held tightly onto his hand tightly. Valerie released his hand when Rick almost jogged towards Daryl to hug him, before noticing Valerie. He gave her a single nod as a sort of 'thank you for bringing him back in one piece'.

The entire group came out to give Daryl a hug but Valerie quickly noticed Maggie glaring at her, looking as if she was about grab a kitchen knife and stab Valerie in the chest over and over. But if that ever came to happen, Valerie still had her baseball bat and handgun, ready to be used if needed.

"Why is _**she**_ here?" Maggie asked, her arms folding over her chest as she glared at Valerie.

"She's the reason how and why Daryl made it out of The Sanctuary, she saved his life. She's one of us." Rick answered, a hand hovering over Maggie's arms.

"She still murdered Glenn."

Valerie's eyes narrowed, her arms folding over her chest as she took a step towards Maggie. "I didn't have a choice, it was either stand with him or my head would be on a spike and waved around as a trophy. And I don't know if you noticed; I brought Daryl home – just me, nobody else. So you might want to think about that before you open your mouth and start talking shit."

Before anyone could say anything, Valerie waved her hand around and wondered off, her other hand twirling her baseball bat. She kept a strong grip on her baseball bat as she walked through Alexandria, knowing the hateful glares she was being given. But she was used to that – the looks of hatred, knowing that people wanted her dead; being part of Negan's group did that to a person, even being associated with him put a target on your back.

"Perchance, do you know your way around The Sanctuary; or more specifically, do you know their guard routine?" A voice behind her asked, causing Valerie to stop walking and turn around, her eyes narrowing as she did.

"Who wants to know?"

 _ **~#~**_

The Alexandria and Hilltop group stood around a large map of The Sanctuary, arguing over who would go where and what would be done with The Sanctuary. Valerie grew tired and bored quickly with their constant bickering and stood up from her chair and pushed her way through the crowd to get to the map.

"You're doing this all wrong – if you're seriously planning on just walking up there like 'hey, we're here to fuck your shit up, please let us in, we promise we won't hurt you'. They won't buy that shit and shoot you at the gates before you even have a chance to defend yourselves," Valerie sighed as she rested the palms of her hands on the table, her eyebrow rising slightly.

"And how do you propose we get in then?" Rick asked, causing Valerie to smirk.

"That's the plan, cowboy. You don't – I will. I can easily get in without raising suspicions; all we need to do is attach bombs or something that goes boom to the two watch towers and then we're in. But know this; once the gates are down, there's no going back. We have to finish the job. If any of you want to chicken out, now is the time to do it."

The room fell silent, causing Valerie to feel rather proud of herself to have that kind of impact on a room filled with people who would either want her on their team or want her dead, or a combination of the two.

"The Sanctuary will fall," a voice spoke up after what seemed like an eternity in silence, causing the room to agree with their statement. "Are you with us, Valerie?"

Valerie nodded her head once. "I am with you," she answered before resuming her sentence. "But on one condition – I want to be the one to kill Negan. He has to die for what he's done to all of us; the only way we will get justice is with his death."

* * *

 _ **Note**_

The next chapter will probably be long as hell since it'll be the siege of The Sanctuary and the downfall of Negan – but this story is almost at its end; there will be one more chapter and then the epilogue. I'm debating if I should do a prequel to show how Valerie became Negan's wife but I don't know if I should go through with it.

The last chapters will be shit since I have no idea how to get this story to the ending so I'm sorry if it seems rushed – I just really want this over with and I'll probably re-write this at some point to fix things.

Until next time;

Lorna.


	9. Chapter Eight

Valerie stood in front of the gates to The Sanctuary, motionless as she stared straight ahead of her. Taking a deep and shaky breath to calm her growing nerves, she slowly walked forwards, twirling her baseball bat in her hands to act as if nothing was wrong. Once she was cleared of the two watchtowers, she gave the signal and both watchtowers and the gates exploded and turned into nothing but rubble and dust. Throwing away her baseball bat, a sly smirk came onto her lips as she grabbed her assault rifle that had been securely placed around her back and began firing, drowning out the world with the sound of the bullets leaving the barrel.

After she ran out of bullets, she threw away her rifle and slowly walked through the dusty courtyard, not caring that her once pristine and clean body was now coated in ash and dust. She grabbed her radio that hung on her waist and brought it up to her lips. "The watchtowers are down, I repeat the watchtowers are down; move in and kill everyone on site, over and out."

Valerie heard the large bus filled with the rest of the members of the team – a team Valerie had nicknamed "The Suicide Squad" due to how dangerous their mission was and how very little hope there was to actually survive in one piece. Due to this, Valerie refused to allow Daryl fight; he needed proper sleep and food and time for his injuries to heal – something Daryl reluctantly agreed with. The last words the pair said to each other were four simple words; may we meet again. Somehow, that phrase fit how they felt about each other.

A part of Valerie knew that she wouldn't return; either she would sacrifice herself for someone from Rick's team or she would go down in a blaze of gunfire and glory while taking down Negan. She would be okay with going down with the latter, knowing that if she died, Negan would die too. But there was a high chance that everyone would die; the sounds of gunfire and the explosions was sure to lure walkers from miles around towards The Sanctuary; the entire team knowing that they had a small window of opportunity to complete the mission before they needed to abandon and let the walkers take over.

The siege of The Sanctuary was long and filled with brutal attacks from both sides – although The Saviors were dying as planned, there were some members from Alexandria who died, too, but there was nothing anyone could do but continue fighting because of one simple rule; do not mourn the dead until the war is over. If any of them stopped, they knew that they would be dead along with their friend.

Valerie fought her way towards Negan's room, Rick in hot pursuit behind her, his gun at the ready. Storming into Negan's room, the pair was met with Negan sitting down a leather couch, drinking out of a bottle of Jack Daniels, almost as if he was expecting them.

Glaring at Negan, Valerie slapped him across the face and knocked the bottle to the floor, the glass shattering beside their feet. Valerie grabbed Lucille and kept a grip on it as she signalled for Rick to knock him out cold so it would be easier to move him without having to really worry about anything else.

The pair agreed to take Negan away from the main battle and towards a disused barn at the edge of The Sanctuary. It was mainly used for storage but a vast majority of the time it was empty due to lack of supplies; and was mainly used as a quiet get away for the various Saviors to have a romantic get away with their wives without having to worry about anyone walking in on them.

By the time Negan awoke, he was tied up by his wrists and ankles to a wooden pillar with his arms tied behind his back and on the other side of the pillar. The look of fear was obvious in his eyes, causing Valerie to laugh a little as she walked in slow and deliberate circles around her "husband".

"What? Did you honestly think you were invincible and nobody would rain on your parade? Look who's pissin' our pants now." Valerie shook her head as she played with a knife between her fingertips, slowly keeping a pattern with her directions.

"Val, baby, what are you doing?" Negan asked, causing Valerie to flinch when she was called Val. Val used to be the nickname her old roommate used to call her, and even after all those years; it still hurt like it had happened the day before.

"Something I should've done a long time ago," Valerie held Negan's bat in her hands but handed it to Rick instead. "Here, you deserve this more than I do, do your worst to the bastard, he's all yours."

A small smile played on Valerie's lips as she slowly walked out of the barn and into the sunlight; she kept on walking into the lake, not bothering to remove any of her clothes. She waded until she was able to completely submerge herself, she stayed under the water long enough to remove her wedding ring and let it sink to the bottom, her smile growing wider as she pushed herself back to the surface. She was finally free from him. The battle for control and justice was finally over and now they could get back to what they used to do before Negan came into the picture; survive.

* * *

 ** _Note_**

DNA by Clairity, That's My Girl by Fifth Harmony, Rise by Katy Perry and Castle by Halsey were on repeat while I wrote this.

I'll probably post the epilogue almost as soon as I publish this since it's already finished and I don't really plan on dragging this out for long.

I wrote most of this at 3am, so I apologize if it's complete shit and way too short.

Until next time;

Lorna.


	10. Epilogue

The warm sunlight shone down on the field, the sound of children's laughter filled the air, almost drowning out the sounds of insects buzzing around. In this world; there are no more walkers, no more bad people, no more surviving – just living. Perhaps one day Valerie would tell them about the world that came before this, how dark the world was before they were born. Her children – the dancing girl with the blonde hair and the crawling boy with the dark hair – no nothing about the walkers or Negan or anything their parents did to survive. They don't know their playground is also a graveyard, soaked in the blood of those that died in order for them to live. Perhaps one day they will understand what happened before they were born, but for now all they cared about was spinning as fast as possible and having cuddles from their parents, normal for children their age.

Valerie knew that in a few years, they will ask about the world their parents had lived through. _**How can I tell them about that world without frightening them to death?**_ Valerie thought to herself as she kept a close eye on her children while also trying to sew up a hole in her husband's shirt. Sewing was never Valerie's strongest points, and she did manage to prick herself many times through the shirt and to her exposed thigh. She regretted deciding to wear a light blue dress when she did that but she liked wearing dresses; to her, it meant that she didn't need to go out and kill walkers, she could be a mother without having to protect her children and her family from the horrors that used to exist.

The fences around Alexandria were left to rot and rust; there was no need for them. The small neighbourhood was filled with families, giving Valerie's children many friends to play with. After years of feuding with Maggie, the pair finally became friends and allowed their children to play together, and would give each other emotional support whenever they need it most.

Negan might be long dead but the scars were still inside Valerie's mind, locked inside and would never really go away. They were a part of her now, and she could pretend they weren't there as much as she liked, they would always remain.

Picking up the boy gently and resting his body on her hip, Valerie turned around to see her husband who was with their daughter, causing her to smile as she looked towards her son, giving him a gentle squeeze. "Look, there's daddy! Daddy's home."

Valerie had married Daryl in a small and private ceremony almost a decade earlier, but they both decided to wait until the walkers were gone before starting a family; they wanted their children to live in a safe environment, one where they didn't need fences or guns to make them safe. It wasn't easy, but they managed with what they could.

After greeting Daryl, Valerie placed her son down for a nap, knowing full well that he needed sleep after crawling around the yard after his older sister. But a few hours later, Valerie was placed on high alert as she heard her son screaming for his mother. Her nightmares were like that; everyone in the house doing their own thing and one of her children would scream and when Valerie would arrive, her child would've been devoured by a walker and there was nothing she could do to stop it.

Valerie ran into her son's room as fast as her legs would carry her, soothing him as he cried into her shoulder while his mother gently rocked him back and forth to calm him down. "Did you have a nightmare? It's okay, I have them, too. Maybe someday I'll explain it to you, why they came, why they won't ever go away, but I'll tell you how I survive it. On bad mornings, it feels impossible to take pleasure in things because I'm afraid it could be taken away by the bad things that came before you were born. That's when I make a list in my head of every act of goodness I've witness in my life. It's like a game. Repetitive. Even a little tedious after more than ten years. But there are much worse games to play."

 _ **THE END…**_


End file.
